From Breaking the Cage to Finding My Freedom
I didn’t arrive at this work by accident. I arrived here because I lived the war on my body for over 20 years.
I remember the exact moment my view of my body shattered. I was 8 years old, and someone commented negatively on my size. Before that moment I didn’t think about my body at all, it was just the vessel I used to experience the world! From then on, a mix of upbringing, external pressure, and peer bullying led me to a horrific relationship with food and my reflection.
Growing up, I was raised in a household where certain foods were labeled “junk” or restricted. Because those foods were forbidden, I began to fear them while simultaneously desiring them.
If we work together, you’ll learn about habituation and why this “forbidden fruit” dynamic is a perfectly normal, predictable biological response!
The Cycle of “Willpower”
This led to years of chronic dieting, severe eating disorders, and endless yo-yo cycles. I truly believed that if I could just be thin enough, small enough, or hit a specific number on the scale, I would finally be content. When I inevitably “failed” at a diet and binged on the foods I had restricted, I would gain the weight back and berate myself for not having enough “willpower.”
I didn’t realize that my body’s response to restriction.. the hunger, the cravings, the bingeing.. wasn’t a failure of willpower. It was a biological response to being starved.
Breaking the Cage Door Open
In January of 2024, I hit a wall. I had seen some Intuitive Eating content on social media, and the concept of a peaceful relationship with food and my body felt like a lifeline. I was terrified of gaining weight, but I decided I couldn’t do it anymore.
With the support of an eating disorder therapist, the Intuitive Eating book, and a commitment to stop the cycle of restriction and calorie counting, I took the leap.
Yes, my body has changed, which was my absolute biggest fear. But my desire for peace outweighed that fear, and it is the most worthwhile decision I have ever made.
It’s important to know: If you pursue Intuitive Eating, your body may get bigger, smaller, or stay exactly the same. The goal isn’t your body size, it’s the freedom!
Why I’m Here
It hasn’t been easy every day. Bad body thoughts don’t magically vanish. But I am amazed at how disinterested I am in the foods I once thought I could never “control” myself around. I’m amazed at how much more neutral I am with my body. And mostly, I am amazed at the life I get to experience now that fear isn’t holding me back.
I’ve always had a passion for helping others, and becoming an Intuitive Eating Counselor felt like the perfect step and aligned with my purpose of helping others find the same peace that I did. Reclaiming my relationship with food was the ultimate act of self-advocacy. It’s what gave me the space to launch the Big Energy Wellness Collective—a place where we honor lived experience as much as academic science.
I know exactly what it feels like to be at war with your own reflection… but I also know exactly what it feels like to break the cage door open.
Let’s find your freedom together.